Cellulite.....

Ok... picture this....

Yummy Mummy decides to FINALLY cleanout her bathroom cupboards.. apart from the 198 hairties and about 1000 bobby pins, she locates a tube of 'magic cream' she forgot she brought several years earlier.

You see... a few months after darling little son was born, YM was finding is hard to squeeze into her size 16 jeans. , as her legs where getting a little large. Yummy Mummies legs where getting very dimpled, due to excess fat, cellulite (Otherwise known as Orange peel syndrome, cottage cheese skin, the mattress phenomenon, and hail damage) YM honestly believed that it was just a layer of "baby fat' from being pregnant that needed to go, just to make her jeans fit better... (YM was in denial at this stage about her weight!!! - she didn't think that she was fat.. just breastfeeding.. umm three kids in 2 and a half years... umm.. big boned.. denial.. total denial..)

On a shopping trip to Horsham one day, YM found the answer she was looking for! A body sculpting cream.. that would help remove cellulite! Perfect! Yummy Mummy thought that would solve all of her problems and her jeans would fit!

YM lavished her legs, arms and belly with the wonder cream.. everyday for a week... They jeans still rolled off her belly and her tops still burst at the front! YM threw the cream in the back of the cupboard... "bloody waste of money...."

Now... two years later Yummy Mummy 'discovers' the open tube in the bathroom cupboard...

She laughs... at what SHE thought the cream would do for her bumpy, cellulite covered thighs!

Then she thinks to herself... cellulite.. where in the fuck has it gone?? She strips her jeans off and starts to examine her once pitted thighs for cellulite!! In the end, she starts to pinch the skin together... hellloo there old friend.. you are there, just hiding!

Some of you must be thinking that Yummy Mummy has FINALLY lost her mind. Why in fucks sake would she think that a cream would help her jeans fit better??? She is a real natural blonde?? Cos' two years ago she didn't have a clue! But... she is sure others have tried some of these quick fixes without knowledge that it is actual FAT that needs to be lost to help.

As the tube of wonder cream has hit the garbage, YM again ponders the journey she has travelled since then...